A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt which was brand new before he came in
Damn he says I puked on my shirt again If the wife finds out shes gonna kill me
Not to worry says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunks pocket Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill
So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties
Why are there two twenties? she asks
The drunk replies Oh yeah he crapped in my pants too...